Real victory is won within
July 11, 1997

Colleen Passalacqua Colleen is the Observer-Dispatch features editor. E-mail her at: cpassala@utica.gannett.com.

Before I ran the Boilermaker for the first time last year, I never could understand what was so great about this race.

People seemed to get so emotional about it and I just couldn’t relate to that. Unfortunately, some people never will be able to understand. It’s such a feeling of accomplishment, especially when you’re not sure you can finish.

Last year wasn’t the first time I thought about running. I made a deal with a friend two years earlier that I would run the race with him. For two years, I failed to follow through.

Then in 1995, I had just moved back home the week before the Boilermaker. I watched the race with my family and told them I was going to run it in 1996. They didn’t take me seriously because they knew I wasn’t in shape.

I got involved in a serious weight-loss effort and joined a gym in August. It was a slow process, but I began losing weight — still thinking of the Boilermaker.

In March, I got serious and started training with a friend. We met three times a week and kept each other motivated. He was a much better runner than I.

I started out walking, then worked up to walk-run intervals. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to run the entire 9.3 miles, but I was determined to finish no matter how long it took me.

There weren’t too many people who had faith. One woman kept asking me if I gave up yet and then told my co-workers I never would be able to do it. Some of my friends were concerned I was pushing myself too hard. They suggested I wait until the next year to run.

I wouldn’t listen. I was too determined.

I was determined to lose weight, too. I reached another goal by losing close to 50 pounds by the race. I was feeling great!

As race day approached I got very excited and nervous. So did my family.

The day before the race, my mother was praying in overtime. She was afraid something was going to happen to me. She gave me a guardian angel pin and made me promise to wear it. I said, “Mom, what are you afraid I’m going to die or something?” She got even more nervous when she found out people actually had died running the race.

She and my dad went to 5 p.m. Mass that night. My mom said she prayed throughout the entire Mass that I would be able to finish. My dad even lit a candle and said a prayer for me.

When they left church, they drove the course of the Boilermaker. My mom said she wanted to see what I would be up against. “It seemed like an eternity, even in the car,” she said. They were even more nervous.

The day of the race I was really anxious. I met a woman, Kelly Ryan, at the start line and ran almost the entire race with her. During the first mile I was asking myself, “What are you doing? Are you crazy?” Then, I saw two of my sisters, Jackie and Denese, for the first time. Jackie was running on the side of the road carrying a sign saying “Go for the gusto, Colleen.”

I almost started crying. I didn’t expect to see them that soon, but I found out I would see them often. Denese drove and Jackie ran from the van to various spots on the course. She was everywhere! I saw her at least five times throughout the run. Kelly said she was like “Where’s Waldo” because we never knew where she was going to show up next.

The second time I saw Jackie, she told me my parents would be in the golf course. I saw them in the fourth mile. They looked so relieved to see me alive and running. My mom was standing there with a tissue wiping her tears and my dad looked concerned. I gave them both a hug and a kiss and assured them I was fine. I was feeling good.

When I reached mile seven, by The House of the Good Shepherd, Jackie could tell I was hurting. My knee was very sore and I could barely run. She ran with me for about a mile. She thought I wasn’t going to make it. She was running in little canvas sneakers and no socks, which left her with broken blisters that bloodied the backs of her feet. But, she kept running.

When I got to mile eight, my training partner ran back to meet me. He already had finished the race, but he was worried too. He ran back a mile and then stayed with me until the finish line.

As I approached the end, I started to wonder if I was going to finish. I was in so much pain, but when I got closer to the finish line I heard my sister, Michele, call out my name. I was so excited — the end was near!

When I got to the finish line I just started crying. I did it!

I didn’t expect to see my parents again because they didn’t think they would make it to the finish line fast enough. But they were there crying and hugging me. So were most of my seven brothers and sisters. They had roses for me and everyone was telling me how proud they were. I think they all were in shock that I really did it. It took me about 2 hours and 15 minutes.

That was one of the most amazing days of my life. I realized that day I could do anything I set my mind to. Instead of giving up running, I used it to help me get closer to my weight-loss goal. Since last year’s Boilermaker, I’ve lost more than 40 more pounds and I run on a regular basis.

My goal for this year’s Boilermaker is to run the entire 9.3 miles in less time than last year and without having to walk. If I do have to walk though, it’s not a problem because I’m still out there achieving my goals without letting anyone hold me back.